"Falling of the Bulls"

Living in Australia, where the main sports are rugby and Australian rules football, there isn't exactly a lot of interest in the NBA (although I think I saw a Paul Pierce jersey the other night). Because of this - big surprise - NBA games on television are few and far between.

Last night I was lucky enough - at least I thought at the time - to catch the Chicago Bulls-Los Angeles Lakers game. It was the first NBA game I'd watched live since Game 6 of the Finals in June.

I needed my NBA fix.

Instead, after watching a quarter-and-a-half of basketball, I realized that the only people who need a fix are the players on the Chicago Bulls.

Chicago looked awful in the 82-72 loss. The Bulls shot jump shot after jump shot, and they bricked most of them. When I checked the box score after the game I was actually surprised that the Bulls even shot 33.8 percent. I had projected around 30 percent. The only bright spot was Andres Nocioni, who shot 50 percent - 11-for-22 - and scored 30 points. Only one other Bull - Luol Deng - scored in double figures, with 13, and he was a grimy 5-for-16 from the field.

Ben Wallace - I repeat, Ben Wallace!!! - was the only Bull to shoot upward of 50 percent. He was a nice 3-for-5 for eight points.

The Bulls are now 3-7 about an eighth of the way through the season and I'm already regretting my pre-season prediction of them finishing fifth in the Eastern Conference. This team is not playoff material right now, and I honestly don't see them becoming playoff material unless they make a trade in the next few months.

Before the season I shook off the nagging voice in my head telling me the Bulls wouldn't be able to score consistently without an inside threat. "But they have a great defense and plenty of shooters," I told the voice. "They'll be fine. They did all right with this system last year."

I should have listened to that voice. The Bulls are finally facing the consequences of having absolutely no inside offensive threat. Chicago's inside players - Wallace, PJ Brown and rookie Tyrus Thomas - scored a combined 10 points last night. Ten points. Nocioni is listed as a small forward, but he plays mostly on the outside. Eighteen of his 30 points came from behind the 3-point arc.

The Bulls' guards aren't even getting to the hole. Last year I admired the courage shown by small guys Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon as they attacked the basket possession after possession, drawing fouls on the opposing big men. Last night the Bulls went to the free-throw line a mere 19 times compared to 29 attempts by the Lakers. And six of those free throws were attempted by Wallace, one of the five worst free-throw shooters in the league.

To summarize, the Bulls offense is about as threatening as a prairie dog in a cage. They're averaging 93.7 points a game, fifth worst in the league. They're shooting 44.1 percent from the field, seventh worst in the league. I could throw more stats at you, but I don't want to cause any sickness.

But one of the things I said to myself before the season was: "The Bulls defense will keep them in any game, even if their throwing up bricks every time down the floor. They've got Ben Wallace!"

Well, Chicago's defense is in the top half of the league. They're giving up 93.6 points a game. But they're not exactly intimidating opponents. Last night I was shocked when Kwame "was he really a No. 1 draft pick?" Brown caught a pass from Kobe Bryant just inside the free-throw line and soared over Nocioni for a rim-rattling jam. Because I didn't catch the game's first half, I missed a Smush Parker dunk over Wallace. For those of you unfamiliar with Smush, he's a 6-foot-4 guard. Not exactly another KG.

Nobody is afraid of Chicago's defense and nobody even has to prepare for Chicago's offense. They know what to expect: jump shots, jump shots, and more jump shots. And, maybe, a few Wallace free-throw bricks.

It's a sad sight to watch. Here, the Bulls signed Wallace for $52 million and the city of Chicago was thinking, "Finally, after eight years of suffering, we may be on our way back to the glory days." The United Center crew was prepared to play the song "We are the Champions" once again.

No one's thinking such thoughts anymore. Yes, the season's early. The Bulls could turn this ship around. But it's unlikely. And they're definitely not a championship contender.

Oh, well. At least there's the Bears