"Tigers, Bonds? Why not?"

Barry Bonds is A) An asshole; B) A cheater; C) Someone I'd never invite to my Thanksgiving table.

So obviously he's not somebody you'd want on your baseball team. Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention D) He's still, for probably one more year, a damn valuable player to have in your lineup.

Which is why the Tigers should go after him.

Yes, he wouldn't help the clubhouse atmosphere. Yes, he'd be a pain for the media (although, unlike Kenny Rogers, he’s never $@%@ up a cameraman). But what does every player in every clubhouse across the country say? That winning is all that matters.

And Barry Bonds would help the Tigers win. At least for one season.

The Tigers have talked about adding a big bat during the off-season, a Carlos Lee or Alfonso Soriano (although that's not happening, considering the dough he'll ask for and receive). They've overlooked the most obvious choice: Barry Bonds.

People say that because he's lost some pop in his bat he's no longer good. Ok, I guess if you call a .454 on-base percentage poor. Or a .270 average. And he did happen to hit 26 dings in 130 games last season, which was still more than all but two of the Tigers hit.

As for that OBP, the closest Tiger to that mark was Carlos Guillen, whose OBP was .400. Leadoff hitter Curtis Granderson’s OBP was .335.

Another comparison: Bonds struck out 55 times last season and walked 115 teams (yeah, seems like pitchers aren’t afraid of him anymore). No Tigers’ regular struck out less than 86 times except for Placido Polanco, who only played 110 games, and Sean Casey, who played just 53 regular-season games with Detroit. Guillen led the team with 71 walks.

Bonds would make life easier for the hitters around him. Face it: At least some pitchers are still intimidated by him and pitch around him (how else can you explain the amount of walks?). And no pitcher will want to walk the batter in front of Bonds.

That would be perfect for free-swinging Craig Monroe. Plug him in at the No. 2 slot and Bonds at No. 3 and all of a sudden Monroe is seeing pitches he can wallop. He hits 30 jacks, unarguably.

I hear the whispers… Bonds can’t run. What’ll the Tigers do if he gets on base? I have two words for you: FRANK THOMAS. Anyone who watched the Big Hurt play this season for Oakland knows he can’t run. Yet he managed to hit an amazing 39 home runs and drive in 119 runs.

You put Barry Bonds in the American League, where all he has to do is hit, and he has a similar season to that of Thomas, who’s only four years younger than Bonds.
If Bonds is hobbled and can’t run, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. The Tigers could simply pinch run with Marcus Thames or Craig Monroe – whoever isn’t playing left field.

I hear more whispers… how could the Tigers afford Bonds? Well, amazingly enough, Bonds isn’t interested in a huge contract. All he wants is a chance to break Hank Aaron’s record (although he might say something more diplomatic like, “I want to win a World Series”).

But let’s not kid ourselves. With Bonds in the lineup, the Tigers would be one of the favorites to make it back to the World Series. Even if only for one year.

Kenny Rogers has one more year in him. Ditto for closer Todd Jones, who, as much as he’s criticized, was remarkably efficient this season. And it’s obvious that Pudge, who turns 35 on Nov. 30, isn’t the player he used to be.

So, while the Tigers pitching staff is indelibly young and talented, as well as most of their position players, it’s not a reach to say that 2007 might be the best chance in the next five years for the Tigers to make it back to the WS.

And even if the season’s a disappointment, the Tigers would be back where they started a year from now. Not with a huge contract hanging over them, because Bonds would be gone. Just with the same questions being asked about what to do in the off-season.

Seems harmless. So why not risk it?